Seasons Of Adventure
by project nuddy-pants
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu are on a mission, hacking away and listening to their dictatorous leader, who said they must come home 'or else' they embark on a journey back which gets slapped in the face with adventure done, but utter crapology, *DIES*
1. Autumn

Hey people! I'm a newbie and after lots of contemplating i have decided to open up a ...thingy.

hope it doesn't suck watermelons :L I'm still working out how to use this site :P

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Autumn

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One after another, the shruiken came down; pounding on them, slashing through the thick and humid air, and every time all the shruiken would miss. This went on for about ten long, unamused minutes.

"Sheesh, this is getting fucking boring!", exclaimed Hidan, "Well maybe I just need to heat things up a little" he jeered as he turned an evil grin towards the young ninjas.

Then he took powerful swipes from his massive Halloween-influenced weapon and cut the amateurs up pretty bad. The smaller ninjas started to yelp for backup.

"Ha-ha, the little twerps are scared shitless!" cackled Hidan.

"Hidan, be nice to the mini money wasters", sighed Kakuzu "You handle these guys and I'll go finish off the ones with the huge egos…a little like you".

"Tch! You wanna fucking go octopus man?" retorted Hidan.

"Sigh, haven't heard that one lately… grandpa"

Kakuzu said whilst walking off calmly to find the other supposedly hidden ninjas, leaving behind a fuming Hidan.

Kakuzu found them quickly, they were up on a big pine tree and they had attempted to make a distraction by making clones that were right in front of him.

_Not very good at hiding are they…_

He made a one-step advance towards them and they sprung into action! They were sending weapons, fire, wood and whatnot in every direction.

Kakuzu was too quick for them though, he whipped out his so called tentacles and blocked away half of the items thrown at him and the clones, as if they were rag dolls.

Then he got shocked as a blade went right through one of his hearts, the metal was cold and jagged and he gasped as he felt his heart slowing, beating desperately for those last strands of life on which he barely held onto, but only getting the grasp of the menacing blade and hot gushing blood.

The pain…was beyond any other that he has ever felt.

He felt himself gasp for air, but found that he could not, his desperate heart stopped with its final beat, and then silently blood started to soak his lungs and drip a line of sincerity down the corner of his mouth.

_Thank gosh I have five hearts. Those bastards tricked me! They had two sets of clones, one down here, one in the tree, and then the real ones were…I can't believed I got tricked by the likes of them! _Thought Kakuzu, now furious with himself.

So he then pretended to be dead, as the ninjas started to reward each other and be thankful and etcetera, etcetera and in their foolishness, Kakuzu stabbed them savagely, coiled his tentacles round their necks and squeezed until blood was spat full girth out of their gaping mouths.

Anger blinding him with a veil of hate, as his last ounce of conscience had vacated him, leaving his body as a vessel of rage.

He did not stop slashing, squeezing until their bodies fell limp, and the last bit of life had flown away with the auburn leaves.

_Hmm, I guess you can say I tricked the trickster…_

Hidan was thrashing the others pretty bad, even with one hand tied behind his back, and just as he started to gloat more and more, (with the other ninjas seeing his head grow quite a size all filled with ego) the backup ninjas arrived and managed to brutally hack his arm off.

He watched his other half of his arm fall lifelessly to the earthy dirt. A millisecond later, he felt his whole arm burn up with a pain not even Jashin knew how to bring!

Blood was oozing and gathering up in pools next to his feet, as he started yelping and cursing in pain,

"You fucking Motherfuckers! You are so screwed now bitches!" shrieked Hidan in a demonic voice as he sliced his weapon around, gashing the amateurs and the backup.

He then slid his whole hand down the blade, but carefully so not to cut himself, he licked the ruby red blood from his hand and performed the special jutsu.

His black form appeared and then without any mercy or even an ounce of conscience he killed all of the ninjas mercilessly, hacking himself with the blade like a masochistic maniac!

After all the havoc had ended, Hidan started to wonder…_Hmmm, I wonder if that lump of tentacles is okay? He better…_

"Wait, why am I caring about HIM in the first place?"

The fight was over and kakuzu was breathing heavily, then his mind strangely drifted off…_Hope that violent priest is all right, if he gets hurt I won't be forgiving him too soon._

They both started heading back to find each other; it was a long trek too.

Tree after tree, dirt patch after dirt patch, everything looked the same! Until Kakuzu saw a flash of white, red, and black and exclaimings like "Where tha fuck are ya?"

He knew it had to be Hidan.

He sprinted over to where Hidan was, who was still searching in vain, and decided to scare him.

"hi…"

"Shi- wha?...oh it's you…OH it's you…OH, IT'S…FUCKER! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME!" said (A/N: AW, c'mon is it really that necessary, you all know who he is! :P).

"wow, I suck at surprising people." "We still have to go find camp for tonight though, how about this nice patch of ground…it's a nice patch of ground"

"GROUND? ARE YOU FOR CEREAL! I'm going to a hotel scrooge-bag", retorted Hidan.

"YOU'RE ARM! Jeepers, bring it along and let me stitch you back up, baka"

"BAKA? Fine!", as he pouted slightly, but only slightly "But I still wanna go to a hotel"

"I dunno, it's pretty costly…but we haven't slept properly for about a week since this mission so I guess.." Kakuzu said contemplating for a while.

"Phew! Oh and…thanks for everything…shit-head" said Hidan jokingly, feeling his stomach flutter up slightly.

_Wow, that was actually the first time I have heard him be polite, well half-polite…_Kakuzu thought as they were walking together to find a hotel.

_MAN! What has gotten into me? I was nice to kakuzu…but he always does take good care of me whenever I get hurt. And he is always good to me and if…if…if I ever l-lost him…like I lost my other friend..._ Hidan felt a tear roll down his eye and then, another followed, then he found himself crying a little bit.

All the stress from over the years built up slowly as he remembered things he wished to forget, and started making up horrifying, tear jerking scenarios of Kakuzu hating him or dying, he started to have a stress break down.

Tears gushing vividly from his painful pace. Choking sensations making him panic and cry harder as his heart and head gushed out all the excruciating memories until they became livid in his mind, and were torturing him into remorse. Feeling himself gush down head-forth into a black abyss, seeing his light fade away to a slither.

He now got really angry and embarrassed, as now he seemed like a bloody babbling crybaby.

Then he felt strong arms grab him and pull him into a huge, cuddly and comforting hug, he knew it was Kakuzu and cried harder still. Then mentally punching himself for looking like a sook in front of Kakuzu AND crying like a little baby.

Then Kakuzu said soothingly "its okay Hidan, I'm here for you. I will always have a listening ear and a comforting hug for you." "So please, tell me what's wrong"

Then Hidan started explaining why he was crying and all the stress that he has been under with the stupid Boss and the over-demanding God, and all the bad things they have made him do, also how said leader killed all of his closest friends and family since he did not want to join. Kakuzu cradled Hidan and hugged him for what seemed like an eternity. Even though, Hidan wanted it to never end.

Hidan fell asleep from over exhaustion of fighting and crying, so Kakuzu picked him up and carried him to the nearest hotel. Even though they called each other names and he pretended to fight with him, he still cared so much for him.

He could almost say that he lo-... found him interesting.

Back at the hotel, Hidan woke up from his light sleep feeling very hungry and melancholy. It was autumn and it just started to rain, which made him feel even worse.

Then Kakuzu walked in with a tray of hot steaming food and warm, welcoming eyes.

"Oh, you're awake." "Well I brought you some food in case you were hungry"

"Hm? Oh thanks…"said Hidan gently as he received his food and wrapped himself up in more blankets, slowly chewing the food that was warming his lap from the cold winter breeze. Kakuzu slowly and carefully stitched his arm back together blowing on the cut when he winced in pain.

The rustling trees and howling winds brought a type of peace until Hidan ahhh'ed out from being full and warmed. It was then he realised that there was only one bed_…wait, ONE BED?_

"Dumb ass! There's only one freakin' bed!"

"Ah, I thought you might notice sooner or later", sighed Kakuzu.

"Guh, I'm too tired to argue now, g'night…you pervert"

"WHAT? Me? It was the cheapest one AND I only brought a little bit of money"

"Fine, whatevs…"

The two of them crawled into bed, and both of them said good night to each other and Hidan whispered, "Sleep well"

Kakuzu then replied with a tender good night.

Then soon after that, after snuggling up closer to Kakuzu, Hidan listening to the rhythmic breathing and thumping from his heart the whispering wind that rattled trees and tossed around leaves with a careless whip which dragged him into a peaceful sleep as the symphony of nature bade them to serenity.

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Geez, hope that wasn't too bad,  
plz give me feedback and rate/review! :)

i wonder, is hidan or kakuzu a bit OOC? i hope not!

hopefully you like, i have another chapter in the waiting.. how does Bear Grylls and gypsies sound to you? ;)


	2. Summer

New chappie! I haven't made the seasons go in order, but oh well, i wrote this and then realsied AFTER i wrote.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...sigh

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Morning rays snaked their way through the blinds and onto Hidan's face as he slowly woke up. Seeing Kakuzu's sleeping and peaceful face was a rarity and he had to admit, he did look god-damn handsome no matter what other people said. He had beautiful facial features; smooth and soft skin, supple lips, and cheekbones Tom Cruise would fantasise about. He did not mind the stitches that ran across his skin; he thought they made him look slightly hardcore.

Kakuzu slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to reduce the blur, light, and saw an amazingly gentle and caring look glowing from Hidan. Then suddenly they both blushed and turned their heads away from each other.

They were slightly embarrassed until they both turned around and looked deeply at each other with a mutual amount of interest and curiosity in their eyes, they then captured each other's eyes and there they stayed, eyes glued together, cream swirling into ivory making them feel golden brown inside, like the sun looking down on them. They felt like they were swept off their toes to another world where everything was peaceful and calm.

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!" rang the alarm clock energetically, abusing their ears after their slight moment of bliss.

_Damn, stupid clock, another reason why I hate mornings, they start too early! _Thought Hidan frivolously, contemplating whether he should smash its noisy face in._ Still that was quite a strange, almost nice moment with Kakuzu Pff…what the hell has gotten into me? _

"Agh, I'll stop that piece o' cra-", said Hidan.

"Crap! We are late!" shrieked Kakuzu now packing like a madman trying to escape an asylum.

"Shit! The leader is gonna have our balls on a platter!" Hidan yelled after remembering the leader's orders of coming immediately back after the mission finished, or otherwise face 'consequences'. _Hmmm, I wonder what it could be; since he told us to hurry back, it seems urgently suspicious! Wait that makes no sense…It is way too early in the morning for me. _

_

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_

They were trudging through the dense forest floor. They were beginning to become exhausted and dehydrated from the soggy leaves and mud below their feet, making sure every step was a tiring 'yank' and then 'slap, sludge, squelch'.

The fluorescent orb decided to tease the two comrades, as it sat mockingly high against the bright sky, sending down scorching beams of heat to beat down on their sore bodies. The heat created a thick humidity in the air, which you could cut using a knife.

They were down to their last bit of bread, the water from their bottles long gone.

_Those damn ninjas really took it out of us; my back hurts, more than Hidan bickering about his stupid god straight into my ear, t_hought Kakuzu laughing to him self.

He then turned around to look for Hidan he found him a few metres back, drenched in sweat, and swaying around a bit; dehydration was really hitting them hard.

"I need w…water" coughed Hidan.

"Yes, obviously, since you are p…panting like a d…dog." he retorted, feeling quite faint himself.

"Sc…Screw…you"

Then Hidan being entirely fatigued plopped down on the ground heaving for air. Kakuzu then followed Hidan's example and dumped himself onto the moist ground feeling the cool wetness against his hot puffing body, which relaxed his muscles and relieved him.

"Once there was a tourist who got stuck out in the f…forest for a week, he said that he s…survived by sucking dew d…drops, hah, from leaves in the m…morning and picking up a c…clump, hah, of mu…mud and squeezing it till, hah, water came from it." Kakuzu paused for a second giving him time to breath, his chest heaving violently.

"Once he even drank his own piss since he was near death. He ate things like berries and basically whatever he could find that wasn't poisonous"

"Ugh, that's foul!"

Since there was no river to be found for another six kilometres they decided to use one of the methods, since they were dehydrated and would rather want this not to be a life or death situation. Neither of them in a lifetime would ever be reduced to drinking their own piss, the damn sun turned all the leaves into crinkly pieces of crap, so they decided to go with the mud theory.

Kakuzu being very cautious thought that they should boil the water first so that they don't get sick; Hidan said that it would waste time and they were not exactly on schedule now.

He finally gave into Hidan and they ended up just getting clomps of mud and squeezing all the water out. It had a slight grainy taste to it. _Well it's either this or my piss…ha, that rhymes… _

Hidan, being extremely thirsty did this about ten times, and Kakuzu only four since the few leaks of water were enough and the taste was not very satisfying. No. It was actually disgusting.

Now both of them felt well hydrated and Kakuzu almost felt like he was alive again… almost. They set off for the next excruciating 100 kilometres through dense forest, scorching desserts and a raging river. All whilst the merciless sun burns them to ashes.

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Finally found out how to use lines! R&R pls?  
:)


	3. Summer Pt2

Sorry for not updating as early as i THOUGHT i would!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto, my fish does... nah, not even him

**Warning: **Bad Grammar? I'm not sure...OH and swearing!

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"K…Kakuzu can we please s…sit down, hah, hah, down?" panted Hidan, he looked very pale and was sweating profusely.

"But it has only been ten kilometres…" said Kakuzu

"I just feel weir…," moaned Hidan. Then with that last word he retched, and fell to the ground. _Ugh, what the fuck? I feel like crap…Must be something I ate. _

"I knew it wasn't good to drink that much water! We should have boiled it first! Geez you never listen to me do y-"

"Bleurgh!" Hidan vomited, then just as he took in a shaky breath he threw up again, clutching his aching stomach like his life depended on it. He then felt his whole body start to shake and the last thing he saw through his closing eyes was Kakuzu standing over him with a worried look on his face.

"…dan"

"Hi….an…Stay wi…th me pal…"

Then the blackness took over and lost himself to his subconscious.

* * *

"Hidan, Hidan, Stay with me pal…can you hear me? Hidan!"

_Guh, damn it I knew he should not have had that much water! _Hidan thought now thoroughly furious with Hidan and himself.

He picked Hidan up, heaving him over his shoulder like a prize kill from a hunt.

_There were probably bacteria in that water, I need to find the nearest hospital and quick… hmmm, and where are we not wanted men?_

Kakuzu used his chakra to climb up a tree, from there he looked around for a village, or any sign of life.

The dessert was barren and unforgiving, that mighty sun having no mercy on anything whipped out lashings of light, blinding him when he though he saw someone and looked to the left of him.

Through the agonising fluorescent beams, he was just able to make out a small cluster of houses and some moving black blobs. _Perfect… one kakuzu, zero sun…take that sun! Saw through your brightness, _Kakuzu sniggered to himself. He never seemed like the funny type, but his conscience was like a whole other person!

He hopped down lightly but accidentally bumped a few branches with Hidan's head.

"Mmmf..." Hidan groaned disapprovingly.

"Heh, whoops"

* * *

"Ah, ahoy travellers!" said an over-enthusiastic towns-person. "How nice of you to come and visit the small settlement of Clydia! We are but mere Gypsy merchants, but we bear wide grins and warming hearts!"

"Um, hello. I was wondering if you have a spare place to stay and a doctor." Kakuzu said as politely as he possibly could. _Why am I being polite? I always use the 'bad-guy' approach… Well they are just merchants, and nomads by the looks of it, they will not cause us any trouble. _

"Do not worry young travellers! Esmeralda here is a specialist with the a herbs, and as for shelter I hope you a no mind a sleeping under a caravan, no?" said the gypsy with a heavy accent, Italian maybe…

"That sounds fine, thankyou…um, which way is Uh, Esme…no...Um, Esmon, Emreld…the healer?" said Kakuzu, _What a bloomin' hard name to say…what is it like Spanglish or something? _

"Here she is over, by caravan still stood!"

_Humph, what the hell? Well now, he is just not making any sense, but he seems nice I guess…_

They walked over towards the healer; she was in a temporary tent. As they crawled through the small opening they were smacked in the face by assorted incense and aroma, and there sat a shrivelled old plum, oh wait I mean an agley woman, covered in blankets with red, brown, orange and yellow stripes on them.

The whole room seemed spiritual and earthy. To her side, there were clusters of dried herbs, ointments and other whatsits. I laid Hidan down onto the scratchy hay blankets and waited for the woman to work her magic on him.

"Ah, young is the mind, cheerful is the soul, but when not connected in unity the decisions become hazy," said the shrivelled plum

She then proceeded to grab different herbs from different areas and crumble them into a clay pot. She asked me a favour, she wanted me to get water from the well and handed me a wooden bowl.

I got up, uneasy with leaving Hidan with the old bag, and made my way quite quickly towards well. Because I could not be bothered to use their primitive device, I decided to hop down and fill up the bowl, then I realised that the water was deep, cold, and their only supply.

_Damn my common sense… _

* * *

I silently went back into the smelly hut and handed the plum her water. However, I saw no Hidan there, only blood on the floor and on her mouth. I started to think the worst. _Crazy cannibalistic old prune, she ate Hidan!_

_

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_

_OOH! form of a clifhanger!_ I HOPE!  
hope you enjoyed my little melon drops!  
R+R= :)_  
_


	4. Summer Pt3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…obviously (Sheesh! is this even necessary?), but I do own the old prune!

OKAY! .SORRY! It took YONKS for me to update cos (um, brain, find me an excuse! Pls? I'll give ya a cookie!) Ah, cos… (NO COOKIE FOR YOU!) COS I was being a lazy arse! Yaaaayy! (Okay… half a cookie…or maybe just a choc-chip) **Anywhoot** I will stop debating with myself like some bipolar bear and get on with the story!

"non-italic" speech

'_italic_' thoughts

**CHAPPIE 4! SUMMER Pt. 3!**

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Hidan POV

The last thing I remember is light being squeezed from my conscience and then everything went numb. I could hear faint voices and something bumped into my head.

I rubbed my throbbing head where it was previously bumped, in some random act I can't even remember, and slowly came back to reality.

"Ah, I see the young foal has awoken"

_Young foal…What? Whoa, who is this piece of scrunched up cardboard…better yet, WHERE the HELL am I?_

The cardboard started to talk to me, and explained I was carried here by my companion and now he went to fetch water. _Kuzu carried me here? That's nice of him…wait…no, he's such a perv! I bet you he touched me!_

She thought she needed it but I woke up before it was needed. She also said that Kakuzu would take a while.

"Since the swallow is not yet to return to its nest, shall we play a prank on the badger and veer him out of his wallowing?" said the cardboard wisely… or strangely, whichever rocks your boat.

"Heh, took the words right outta my mouth"

_I think I'm starting to like the way this woman thinks even though I don't get what she means about swallows and fish and whatever…Damn perverted Kakuzu deserves it!_

They two started to plot something for fun, in the end Hidan said that they should make it look like she ate him. She galumphed around, a new excitement rattling through her old, weary bones and started to gather water and some crushed paprika.

She mixed the two together and turned it into a blood coloured paste.

Hidan and the healer started to smear it on the floor and for a final touch, she smeared it around her wrinkly face and ushered Hidan into hiding as Kakuzu peeked through the door.

As Hidan saw him walk through, he noticed that the man's eyes had widened by at last ten sizes! How funny his face was, he couldn't help but let out a small snigger!

* * *

Kuzu POV

I bring back the heavy pail filled with water, 'Stupid primitives' Kakuzu thought frivolously, since he spent half an hour attempting to bet a measly bucket of water, never again will he look at a well and think good thoughts.

I plopped down the splinter-thriving old bucket and peeked with caution and curiosity into the tent. I moved the leather strips to the side, bent down and scooped myself into the small tent; inside I found the old prune with blood on her face and hands… but no Hidan!

My mind started to panic; I began to think that Hidan was eaten! I then took a firm grip of my mind and calmed down, looking for reasoning and rationality, as if she could ever chew someone as tough as him… or as thick-skulled.

I listened around and heard a rustle_. _

'_I bet you this is some sick, stupid prank. Humph, I wasn't born yesterday!' _I thought whilst looking around thoroughly in the dark crevices of the oaky-brown tent, dark corners seeping with mysteriously.

"BOOO!" shrieked Hidan, jumping out like a madman on rampage.

"Ahhh!" I…sq- yelled. _'C'mon, me squeal? Sheesh, brain even you belittle me!'_

I slapped myself lightly so I didn't carry on like a bought new shoes and then managed to step in dog cra- Anyway, I turned back to the murderer of my trust and anger swelled up inside me.

"How could you do that? You are such a bitch! Sif' I'm ever talking to you again, thanks for breaking this stupid friendship up anyway!" bellowed Kakuzu, the balloon of anger filling up and choking up his usual calmness.

"Sheesh man, it was just a useless joke, relax!" said that stupid, idiotic shit called Hidan.

Too bad this last remark made my anger balloon explode, with nothing else to say to him, I stormed out, lashing the cracked leather open and left a trail of distress behind me.

I was in desperate need for a walk, jog, run, kill…just something! I needed to get rid of all this immense negativity.

'_That stupid bastard, he had no idea how worried I was over him. When he jumped out at me I though I was going to have a heart attack'_

I went on a sprint but immediately came to a halt when I spied a nice little secluded bank with moss green trees that over hanged a baby blue stream.

When I sat down the grass was soft and calming and soothed out the resentment in my body, bringing waves of tranquillity which courted me into a gentle nap.

* * *

Hidan POV

Darkness was intoxicating the skies quickly as the sun dropped down to befriend the lonely mountains in the distance.

Kakuzu still hadn't returned and I was beginning to worry, actually I was so worried that I was border-lining stressed. So I have decided to look for him, since when he said that I broke up the friendship, it hurt me deeply.

I went out of the small encampment to search for him 'I know he's near here, I can…sense him…but it's not his chakra, it-it's something else. Like a strong magnetic force pulling me towards him.

The crisp air was sucked in harshly as I plucked up some balls to go talk to him. I started thinking up possibilities of scenarios in my head…

"_Hey Kuzu, I'm really sorry"' I really was._

"…_Yeah, well I'm sorry too… about ya face!"_

"_Jerk! Imma tryin' to apologise!" I said, I am really taken a-back by his remark._

"_You, apologise? Well whooee Mr. High and Mighty" sneered that damn Kakuzu._

Or maybe I could try something that didn't fail as bad as that, sigh.

"_Dude, I'm sorry, really!"_

"_Go die in a hole you damn ferret, don't come cryin to me when something bad happens to you! You ain't gettin any of this' as he smacks his arse with a slap 'anymore!'_

"_What...WAH!"_

_..._

'_Aw man, my brain is trying to kill me!'_ as I ran clutching my head I bumped into a wall, who was actually Kakuzu. _'Just my luck, eh?'_

Kakuzu went on as if I was invisible and slumped back off to camp.

When I managed to splutter to him some words, not my horribly planned out ones which ended up as Kakuzu being a jerk and an ex-stripper... I said

"W…Wait, hey! Can we please talk?"

"NO"

'_What? Guess the jerk scenario it is then, remain calm!'_

"Please?" I said innocently.

"…No?"

_'Heh almost got him. Cute-ness power up time!'_

"Aw, c'mon, pretty pleasey please with a kunai on top?"

"...Tch…fine"

_'Yes! Victory, ok here I go'_

"Look, I feel like a real big douche for doing that and I just wanna apologise, I…"

_'Pride don't get in the way now, I need apologise!'_

"I…I"

_'Damn you pride! Why are you such a bitch to me?'_

"You what" stated that man impatiently, I'm getting to it, geez.

"Sorry"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry ok? Dipshit… I mean, awesome friend who I am not worthy of"

Kakuzu laughed quietly to himself, finding my distress apparently hilarious.

"I guess it ok…apology accepted, just don't do it again okay?"

"Heh, I think I've learned my lesson for now" Oh, man I have, almost lost me a best friend.

They both then started laughing together, hearts rumbling, as they realised that they were quarreling like some old married couple.

Their friendship renewed like blossoming flowers, as their scorching summer hatred turned into a gentle spring love.

* * *

WHOO! Summer bit finally finished…onwards I roll towards spring! Yosh!

sorry if it dragged on like a sack of potatoes... :L

And now I must find something to interest you… how about "ayes" from anyone who wants some love action ;)

Laters G…

R&R, ILYAH!


	5. Spring

New Chapter! YOSH... well i added in requested love so tell meh what ya think

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, maybe the old plum..nah, she owns me

Morning rays poked through the glossed leaves, leaving the dewdrops as mirrors showing two sleeping faces below,  
who were slowly awakened to the sound of the chirping songbirds that were perched high on their stalks of leafy-green.

-Kuzu pov-

I woke up, much to my surprise, in a warm embrace.

Delicate fingers griping to the hem of my shirt, soft breathing warming up my neck.

My legs… entwined with another's.

Entwined with another's…with another's…What?

I slowly craned my head to the side to catch a glimpse of whoever was sleep-raping me and found an unbelievable sight; Hidan was deep in a sleep, clutching me like a teddy-bear.

I looked over to his face, the warm sun rays lining out the curves and angles of his sleeping face, making the pale colour of his features light  
up to a striking white, if only I had a halo, he would be complete.

Little did I know that whilst I was lost in my dreamy thoughts, a little violet eye crept open, then in a flash our eyes connected,  
I was lost in his violet eyes, which I knew oh so well, I then lowered my head towards his, cautiously.

My hazel tussled hair fell down upon his face, he then lightly chuckled and brought his face up as our lips gently touched, almost like a butterfly coming to rest upon a perched sunflower, making my mind blank out as we both closed our eyes.

I felt something slide across my lips and realised it was Hidan's tongue.  
I peeked through my eyes and saw him smiling warmly at me, my heart started to pound. I was in a bit of an uncomfortable position so I sat up.

As soon as I sat up, the sexy beast called Hidan, leapt onto me and leant over for a deeper kiss, our tongues meshing together, massaging the muscles passively.

His soft hands started to trail up me, it sent static shivers all around, and we broke our tonsil hockey for a few minutes, both with red tinges to our face and panting breaths.

"You have no idea how long I have waited for that" said that hot bastard jokingly.

"I know"

"But, I wanna say, even though it might seem immoral and Jashin doesn't really approve of it, I like you, and have liked you for…long…"

As if I would let you talk when you were being so sweet and adorable, I had to attack his exposed neck and then claimed his moist lips again.

"I like you" I said truthfully, and I did mean it.

"We may sometimes argue, fight and hate but all the other times I have spent with you have always been joyful, the first time  
I laughed or smiled was because of you, you give me heart exercises like no one else can, it will be your fault if I ever need open  
heart surgery. You are my flower, my blessing" I really love you Hidan, please don't ever hate me.

"Yeah, that's true but I never opened up to people, and if you believe it I was always the shy one, until that day where I was paired with you, you may have a lame sense of humour, be a bit OCD, and piss me off but still, my heart would die without you, not even Jashin could repair it. You are my sun"

Those words almost made me cry with happiness, we embraced each other in a in a tight hug which turned heated as our lips  
danced together, his fingers sending lines of fire over my body, he made me feel alive.

Back at the tent wise eyes looked deep into the water of many sights and smiled as she saw the soul mates combine to form a whole.

She sighed in relief and laid her old bones down for a nap, sometimes she really did find herself to be a genius.

After we had that little early morning make-out session, we noticed a small lake around where we were sleeping.

Just as I was admiring the turquoise glimmer of the clear water, I got pushed in!

"That was mean you….jerk" I said in a lovable fashion I then reached out and whipped him into the water as well.

Then started the splashing and the diving and the whatnot, we were like 5 year olds on cola!  
We laughed and laughed till our sides ached, then we decided to get out and trail back to the village to restock and get on our way.

We slowly stood up, letting the sun dry us off, shaking our hair out. I rarely ever let my hair out and  
my mask off, but now I have no need to hide from myself anymore.

We walked back to the camp, hand wrapped in hand; our love, the spring of our lives.

Just as we were walking along, reminiscing about old times and embarrassing moments a  
puff of smoke cut of my line of vision and I was captured and torn apart from my love.

I tried to fight them off but they stunned me with a flash of red which hit my body.

I heard something along the lines of "Studofy" or "Stupidfry" or something like that.  
I wonder who these strange enemies were…They were taking away my poor Hidan, the bastards! I…must…get…them.

"Grrr, Let go of me!" I bellowed angrily.

"We have a fighter Smee!" cackled something in the distance.

"Kakuzu!" I heard Hidan scream, my heart broke a little on the inside, my body  
just wasn't responding and they were taking him away!

"H...h…hidan" I just managed to choke out.

...yeah...

Ooooooh! THE PLOT THICKENS!...slightly.

I wonder who they are….! Wink

Well R/R if you dare!


	6. End

Warning: there are made up names …characters? In this…but they are not attention seeking Mary-sues, so all is good

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters

(Hida pov)

"Derr…We hit da jackpowt Rofful, our masta will beh smiling, like da happy person!" said Smee stupidly whilst giggling to himself. (a/n: purposely terrible English)

"Shut up Bastard! Geez you really are an idiot" Rofful the supposed leader snapped.

I woke up groggily to the sounds of two dimwits arguing about…What where they even arguing about? I have no clue since one sounds like a baboon fresh out of the zoo and the other like a snivelly rat. Anyway, back to my ever aching back.

"Ck", fuck, my back really is on its last leg today…last leg?

They might have some strange sort of power but they are only a few kilometres away from the village Kakuzu and I were at previously. Wait a second, where's Kakuzu?

I cracked my sore neck and slapped my cheek lightly to send out my grogginess. Only then did I realised I broke out of their pathetic jail…figure, well not really out, just undid the weak knots of binding. Ropes don't stand a chance against the incredible, feared, smexy, shinobi Hidan! Maybe if I listen to them I can get some information out.

"Well de udda one iz in front of us so it do not matta! Our guy looks ded"

"Smee you buffoon! What if he is playing dead, or what if he is pretending to sleep?"

"I know he izn't, I asked his mum… she's over there"

"GAH! That's a tree!"

Bicker Bicker Bicker…Oooh, the other guy? That's probably is Kuzu, finally some useful info.

I get up slowly from my cage, the guys carrying me below don't even realise, what idiots…At least it's not the other whinging two; some random weaklings too full of muscle and too empty of brain.

Grabbing around in my pocket I find one kunai, one, I really need to restock.

In one swift and powerful movement I slash at the cage and kung-fu its arse!

The top of the cage flies to the right and whacks that Smee guy, also known as 'Buffoon', in the head

"Hah!" I couldn't help but snicker; it was just one of those moments.

I stealthily jump up to the branch and wait for the next time to strike; I left a clone in the cage to confuse them, which isn't very hard! Man, I'm on a roll today!

I'm just about to jump to finish off the job and get my lovely darling weapon, oh! and Kuzu, when a hand taps me lightly on the shoulder.

"Wah!" I feel a hand get clasped over my mouth, I taste leather so it must be…

"Kuzu!" I whisper harshly.

"Hey, let's finish these imbeciles off, okay?"

"Hm, deal"

I get into ready position, and he mutters something about being right behind me, and we set off. I jump at the bunch of zoo animals guarding my precioussss and Kuzu starts attacking the other guys, they seemed so easy… until they pulled out strange sticks, at first I laughed at them but then they sent these electric sparks at me and my buddy, which effectively wiped the smile off my dial.

I grabbed at my scythe and effectively gashed half of their people.

Okay, jutsu done, transformation done, stabbage done, and dead people everywhere. My mission is complete!

Out of no-where some really tough people come out, I hear the words "avada…ke' muttered out, a flash of green shoots out and is about to hit me. It comes closer, 10 metres, 5 metres, a metre. The world seems to slow down, sounds muffle, I feel like everything is in slow motion.

The frightening spark came closer and closer but then, our favourable gypsies busted out as well as our dear old prune! They also had sticks? What the hell.

For a few minutes there was a battle of bright lights and screams and things crazy like that, until the smoke faded leaving behind the gypsies unscathed and twinkling with egoistic power. I was so in awe of this battle that I didn't notice Kakuzu come behind me and give me a hug.

I blushed profusely, my head burning up.

"N-not in public" I said whilst blushing my brains out and squirming from his tight embrace. His hot breath was making me think back to that night when we made sweet sweet... sandwiches.

"Aw, aren't you just adorable" joked the bastard.

"I am not adorable!" I huffed.

(Still Hida pov)

We sat around the camp fire, eating hot bread, drool, and singing folk tunes.

"So come on, tell me! What was all that cool fireworks up there?" This is probably the billionth time I asked them.

"Just a bit of gypsy magic" Said Esmeralda with a sly wink.

"Drinks round number five!"

Oh geez, I already feel the hangover coming…

I stumbled into our camper with my Kuzu and fell onto the haystack bed. I looked up too see him staring at me with his beautiful eyes, I stared back, almost getting lost. No, we were lost together in each others' eyes, but our love, found.

With mouths sucking, licking, grating, gasping, moaning and serenading our night of pure ecstasy went on until I fell onto the bed and he fell on me, his hard muscles and soft skin pressed up against mine. His breathing was my breathing. His dream was my dream. His love my love. He was mine.

(No pov)

Morning once again, the residents of a small camper had begun to wake. They had prepared everything for an early departure, a gruesome six a.m. to be exact, and were heading off back to the slightly tyrannical leader.

A big leaving feast was thrown for the wanderers as they decided it was time to go.

They trudged back out of that same unforgiving sun from which they had perished from before, now ready to take it on, loaded with water and supplies.

When they arrived home, finally after a long and confusing mission they arrived back home. A wave of nostalgia hitting them as familiar calls of

"Tobi is a good boy!"

And

"I will kill you! Death by …BOOM"

Ah, it really was good for those two to be home. Just as the two bone-tired shinobi were about to rest themselves on that enticingly soft couch, Zetsu came in, well rolled in, 'cos that's how he rolls (hah, puns aren't my cups of tea) and said

"The leader…sama wants a meeting. **YES A FUCKING MEETING**"

Groans and exasperated sighs could be heard throughout the room, as they all crowded into that small office…figure.

"I know you all wonder why you are here, but I have big news"

'Aw, no shit' thought many bored looking ninjas.

"I have decided to repent in accidentally blowing up an animal haven, and since Hidan and Kakuzu were late from their mission, I leave them in-charge of taking care of forty cats and sixty dogs, and a few thousand bees and some venomous snakes, and an elephant, and yadda yadda."

"Well, have fun!" He then poofed away.

"Wh…Wh…WHAT!" Bellowed Hidan, apart from being a cereal…serial animal hater he now has to take care of a fucking zoo?

Kakuzu just sat there looking at him, stroking a kitten, until many started meowing annoyingly for attention. Hidan just thrashed around, getting cats, dogs, bees, and whatever off of him.  
They both did a synchronised sigh.

They others exited, laughing and poking fun at the two for having such a gay job.

'Much appreciated' thought Kakuzu 'Fuckers' thought Hidan

The two leftovers looked at each other and smiled.

"Here we go again"

* * *

Wowsers….the ennddddd!

Lol, this ended up being really random, but ah well, it was just a weird crack-fic starter-offer. So yeah.

Review if you wanna

Peace to ma gees… and effs, and bees and yeah I'll stop being uncool now…


End file.
